“Since there is time for EVERYTHING under the sun, today I’ve decided that I 100% believe and stand by the opinion of the importance of yelling when it is required. Feel free to scold me when I’m wrong, I’m not averse to correction. What I am averse to however is bullying and control. Yelling isn’t foreign to me, in Ocholi’s household you could pretty much expect to be yelled at and scolded when you were wrong and if the yelling failed, then you got whooped. Period. Yelling was like your last warning before the whopping and crying you had succeeded at earning was dished out to ya. It wasn’t everyday one got yelled at obviously not even close but when you got it, you KNEW you had earned it.
I’m very grateful that that’s my upbringing. It’s not just ‘judging’ its God approved correction. That’s what’s wrong with society today, nobody wants to be corrected anymore in fact most people are allergic. Weaklings walking around with thin skins haven developed phobias to someone simply stating the fact and shining a light on their sins. You could say ‘Hey, you have done …..wrong. Are you aware and would you like to fix it because it has hurt me in…..ways, will eventually harm you like ….. and GOD is not pleased since He said……’ and most people would STILL be offended today. Shouldn’t be shocking to learn that our sin is not harmless. If you understand that God IS love then you’d understand the all inclusive, group protections embedded in the law of the 10 Commandments. Societal levels of protection are practically built in.
Imagine a world where everyone obeyed those commands for a second. No one’s getting killed, robbed, envied, dishonored, there are no narcissists because you can worship God and remain one, what’s not to love about such a society? it would be as close to Utopia as we’d have ever gotten and yet people hate these Commandments and see then ironically as harmful. You do realize that YOUR sin is THE cause of grief for another person and to GOD and that happens on a loop and at scale so everybody is hurting everyone by sinning. That’s why Protecting GOD’s heart and all our hearts is the basic wisdom that necessitated these 10 overarching edicts. It’s literally for our good but I digress.
Back to the subject of yelling to correct, If I’m wrong, the unkind and wicked thing to do would actually be to NOT correct me, and vice versa. Yes even when the correction is delivered via the unpleasant tool of yelling, it is still more loving than quietly watching someone falter. So I’ve resolved from today that I will continue to correct and even yell if necessary. All that’s evolving now if that I will no longer allow myself feel guilt or shame for it (aka condemnation) I write this now because I just realized that there’s been some covert attack of the enemy on my heart and mind in this area over the years.
As first born you have one of the default leadership roles and positions in family. As female first born even more so, but as female first born with only brothers for more than a decade that is even more difficult. I just noticed the amount of warfare on my mind the devil has invested in this area. Today I return every Condemnation he’s been using people and situations to place on me in a bid to impede me from the freedom I just discovered. Peace includes strength. Strength must be communicated and understood. When you come at me with hostility even with a calm voice guess what you’re going to get. You don’t get to dictate the tone of my response to your wrong towards me. That’s ME territory. There’s never been a season when I acquiesced my power and took a passive posture for the sake of counterfeit peace that I didn’t regret it. I’m done with that and I’m never going back. The absence of conflict doesn’t automatically mean the presence of peace. That’s called avoiding the land mines, it’s cowardly and unsustainable. Eventually something will blow up.
From now on being un problematic to me doesn’t me I don’t face you head on and point and the shit you just pulled. That strategy for relationships is a scam. If you don’t want to be called out on bullshit how bout you don’t do bullshit things. I literally cannot think of a single occasion when I’ve ‘snapped’ or ‘yelled’ at a person about a situation that wasn’t correct. For years I’ve allows myself be gaslit in this area. Today that ends. I can feel bad and apologize about how my correction delivery made you feel without revoking the correct words that were said. The new motto is, I deliver the word, GOD enforces His laws. That’s it. That’s the new mode of operation around here. I must allow myself the freedom to yell when necessary as others maintain theirs too. I refuse to keep steady walking on eggshells. Since I hadn’t considered that it is righteous to yell when circumstances require it it’s been easy for some spirits to weigh me down a bit in this area. Today I’m shaking them all off.
I am not hot headed (although I can be), I am not abrasive (although I can be) and I am not judgy. (Not unrighteously). If I needed to be any of those things it’s because that’s what was required. I guess the main lesson is, If you allow it, people will attempt to “tame you”, by guilt tripping, shaming and shunning and even projecting their own character onto you when they’re the aggressors, bullies, manipulators and cunning ones. Nope, from today hold on to your bad nature all by yourself. If you try your witchcraft around me again? I will absolutely yell at you. Any spirit that attempts to intimidate you must not be tolerated. God’s the only one with the right to do that to any of us and He doesn’t even really do that so who are you? I have the God given authority to correct you on your conduct with regards to me. Where our lives intersect is shared territory, you are not the authority here. Both our interests and boundaries must be expressed and protected. You don’t get to attack a person and cry wolf at the same time. Glad that’s all cleared up in writing, especially for my own benefit.
NOW, what I need to master from here on out is delivering the exact same message with stealth and stillness. Ohhhh I look forward to the era when I’m excellent at this. I’m excited to fully reserve all the rights and authorities I have both to yell when I should yell and be still when I should be still. lucifer are you listening? tell your boys the era of making me feel guilty for this half of my authority is over. If a situation requires ra-ra then expect RA-RA. I’m ending this piece by saying this, the Bible says that there is no fear in love. So, If we’re walking in love then we shouldn’t be afraid to correct each other. Perfect love casts out fear and I’m here for it.
All that said, here’s my current scripture on the matter. My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,- James 1:19.
What’s yours?”
honey
If you bring your intimidation, manipulation and domination (aka witchcraft) tactics around me, you can 100% expect to be checked one way or another. Yelling in that circumstance is entirely righteousness. Hallelujah.
