Thoughts And Opinions:
- Many people get extremely offended when you try to establish or maintain a personal boundary with them and that has often baffled me.
- Think of a boundary like a gate. Like a boarder wall, boundaries are markers and territory indicators showing you the limits and beginnings between yourself and other people. It basically marks the end of one person and shows where the other person’s life starts. That’s it.
- It’s me showing you (as I should) that you’re not me and I’m not you and not only is that ok but we should both happily honor that demarcation because otherwise things become one big freakn mess. It just provides order and structure to living which I am so grateful for.
- Yes, There is such a thing as over interference in other people’s lives. This is true no matter what the relationship, parent-child, sister-brother, cousin’s, grandparents, aunts & uncles-nieces & nephews, co-workers, church members-pastors and amongst eachother, teacher-student, government-citizen, boss-employee, influencer-follower, celebrity-fan, you name it. There are boundaries in every interpersonal relationship in life on a micro and macro level throughout society. Period.
- I believe that WITHOUT BOUNDARIES SOCIETY WILL COLLAPSE…And we’re already seeing it. All this talk or “influencing” is not all good. Beyond the purchase you made off the viewer of your content, in what way has your existence altered them? It used to be understood that influence wasn’t all good that’s why the term “bad influence” exists.
- Wisdom tells you where these markers are and helps you respect them.
- Violating boundaries doesn’t negate their existence.
- I’m so grateful that my parents instilled this in me early early in life. I don’t know how they did it but Very early on I understood from them that they are not me and I’m not them and that’s ok. In other words… “we brought you here but you do get to be your own person honey. Our job is to help you on that personal journey to being who you’re placed here through us to be.” That was never explicitly stated by them but they made certain that I understood that and lived it out till the day they died.
- Before you roll your eyes… do google parental enmeshment. It’s a thing and the consequences of it are horrendous and frankly it explains so much about lots of people these days. Besides, being that trusted by them, gave me confidence that i COULD successfully discover, become and BE exactly who God created and placed me here to be.
- We don’t gotto be enmeshed to love each other. (Except you’re my husband in which case yeah we’re definitely getting enmeshed)
- So in summary the gist of existing with people is basically I am me and you are you. Do you as I do me.
- My advice is to be yourself under GOD’s daily parenting. Of course you are free to reject this counsel. Crosses are definitely each one’s own to bear. Loving each other doesn’t negate that the ownership of each cross is tied to a single individual.
- Honestly, Marriage is the closest thing to sharing someone else’s cross.
- So Let’s all abide with this general rule and we’ll actually be ok.
That’s it.
